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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

binisaya joke ra jud ni si Pakyaw ba


MALIPAYONG PASKO SA INYONG TANAN... Merry Christmas to you all..

mga amigo, amiga I will have to take a break from blogging for a short time. Mao ni siguro akong last nga posting this year. So see you guys next year and thank you for being a part of my 2007...here's a picture of our "Pambansang kamao for you"...ambot ngano kani akong napili nga picture but joke joke joke lang.... murag mao ra ni akong nakit an nga binisaya gayud ba...para ngisi lang japun tang tanan sa atong pag celebrate sa Pasko ug sa atong pakigbisog napud sa bag-ong tuig nga umaabot.....


Monday, December 10, 2007

Trivia not bisaya jokes

Yes, no bisaya jokes. Trivia are always very interesting sa ako..they tickle my mind..here's some sent to me through email..kung asa jud ni gikan di ko kabalo...

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.
2. The most common name in the world is Mohammed.
3.The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.
4. The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
5. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States .
6. TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
7. Women blink nearly twice as much as men.
8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
9. It is impossible to lick your elbow.
10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
11. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
12. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
14. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history.
Spades - King David
Clubs - Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

15. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987, 654,321

16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

17. What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
Ans. - All invented by women.

18. Question - This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is this?
Ans. - Honey

19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
20. A snail can sleep for three years.
21. All polar bears are left handed.
22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
23. Butterflies taste with their feet.
24. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
25. In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
26. On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
27. Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
30. The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
31. The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
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32. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
34. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
36. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.


VISIT: binisaya.com



Friday, December 7, 2007

Bisaya jokes again!

Teban : dok, ngano gasakit man akong dughan kada inum nakug tuba, pero kung libre gani dili
mosakit??
Doktor : ah kabalo nako ana, nipis imong BAGA, pero BAGA IMONG NAWONG
==================================================================
Bisaya to english:

PEDRO;bay Juan,onsay english sa IRO nga naligsan?
JUAN: IRO nga naligsan?kowan bay,DOG-MOK
PEDRO:sa iring nga naligsan bay?
JUAN:CAT-TAG
PEDRO:sa baboy nga naligsan unsa man sad?
JUAN:e di PIG-SAT
==================================================================
TITSER: Pedro, 1+3?
PEDRO: 4 mam!
TITSER: Very good! ikaw juan 33x61?
JUAN: Mao na ni, kun lisud na gani ako dayon ang pangutan-on. Pabor2x. Abseni nalang ko oi!
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==================================================================
Dear Pedro;

Dong pedro ang Nido nga none Fat milk ang ipadala sunod, kay nagkalibang (LBM) imong
Tatay sa Nivea nga Moisturizing milk.

Salamat;
nanay
===================================================================
TEACHER:How many liters does a Coke litro have?
PUPIL: Four liters ma'am!
TEACHER: Are you sure?
PUPIL: Yes ma'am! Liter C, Liter O, Liter K, and
Liter E!
===================================================================
Kumpisalan!
Tulume: Bindisyoni ako padre kay ako makakasala.
Pari: Unsa man nang imong sala?
Tulume: Nangawat ko ug lima ka hiniktang igtataring manok padre.
Pari: Ah...mag-ampo ka ug lima ka Amahan Namo
Tulume: Padre. waloon na lang nako ka Amahan Namo
Pari: Ngano man iho?
Tulume: Tua pa man guy tulo sweater-hatch ra ba to pang derby ako balikan unyang gabii......
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Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Trillanes jokes (not bisaya jokes)

Somebody emailed me this and I am just posting this here to share it with you..

According to the jokes, the top 10 reasons for Trillanes and company to pack up were:

* Not even his mother joined them;
* Oakwood had a better lobby;
* CNN was not there to cover it;
* The hotel had run out of ice cubes;
* The APC’s were parked in the lobby and not the parking lot;
* Trillanes realized being tear gassed was not part of his mandate as senator;
* (former vice president Teofisto Jr.) Guingona thought it was an anti-Erap, or pro-Erap pardon rally;
* Cool surrender was better than the company of Father Robert Reyes;
* Trillanes noticed people were crying not because of the tear gas but because of him; and
* Even GMA was beginning to look better the longer they stayed.

On the other hand, the top 10 reasons Trillanes and company should have gone to Victoria Court instead were: (bisaya jokes, bisaya joke, binisaya joke, bisayan joke, bisayan jokes, binisaya)

* They were only gonna stay for a ‘short time’ anyway;
* Bishop Labayen and Fr. Robert Reyes could have heard **confessions;
* They could have wet the towels in the Jacuzzi to combat tear gas;
* There are no wedding receptions in Victoria Court. Only honeymoons;
* It always has more people than Manila Pen;
* The APC won’t know which garage to park;
* The ceiling mirrors would have thrown off the raiding party;
* ABS-CBN could have done an episode of XXX and The Buzz while covering the coup;
* ‘What happens in Victoria Court stays in Victoria court’; and
* It’s a good place to get screwed.


hehehehehee!

Sunday, December 2, 2007

hehehehe binisaya ra jud




if you are looking for more bisaya jokes just go to the archives there are some more jokes in there. If you don't know where that is it is just to your right just below the web messages.

anyway here's two pictures I just want to share to you bisaya jud kaayo ni..

The first one is a common bisaya english misteyk...hehehehehehe....mga draybers ang tama nga spelling is DISABLED...dili kay disable...ok....binisaya joke, bisaya jokes, bisayan jokes, bisayan joke, binisaya jokes

The other picture is the stupid Pinoy gentlemanness that just ticks me off everytime I see it done. Hoy dili intawon gentelmanness ang mudala sa ladies' handbag to help...nahimo na hinuon mo murag bayot ana ba.....my goodness....unless it is a big travel bag...and ladies handbags or purses are suppose to be your personal fashion accessory dili kay ang lalake ang mudala ana...asus!...and also it is your personal stuff....keep your personal things with you and your own....these are the reason why I think pinoy gentlemanness is stupid when it comes to handbags....