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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Sagul nga ZTE jokes

Jun Lozada:1/2 Pinoy actor, 1/2 Intsik actress

Apostol:1/2 pinoy, 1/2 bulol

“joker” ArroyoL 1/2 pinoy, 1/2 pikon

Santiago:1/2 Pinay, 1/2 buang

Enrile: 1/2 GMA, 1/2 Erap jun lozada jokes, zte jokes

Neri: 1/2 pinoy, 1/2 pinay

Gonzales:1/2 pinoy, 1/2 linta

Razon: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 patola

Donald Dee: 1/2 intsik, 1/2 traydor

FG: 1/2 pork, 1/2 buwaya

Atienza: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Hawaiian

Lacson: 1/2 Pinoy, 1/2 Pinay

Jamby: 1/2 Boy, 1/2 Girl

GMAL 1/2 1/2 lang!
=========================================================
Q. What`s the difference among Philippine Presidents Cory, Gloria and Erap?

A. Cory can`t tell a lie, Gloria can`t tell the truth, Erap can`t tell the difference

=========================================================
ABALOS’S PRAYERS jun lozada jokes, zte jokes
ZTE father,
who are in China, hakot be thy name, thy kickback come, thy wealth be done, in Wack-Wack as it is in Comelec.
Giv me this day my daily bribe, & conceal all my sins, as I conceal those sin along with me, & if I am led into temptation, deliver me from criticism, its power, & its money forever & ever. Amen
==========================================================
ZTE deal Senate inquiry with Jun Lozada testify-ing:
SENATOR LAPID: Kaanu-ano mo si Kuya Ike Lozada?

==========================================================
Man jumped MalacaƱang walls and shouted “magnanakaw ka FG!”

He was sentenced
to 2 years for oral defamation and
20 yrs for revealing a State Secret!
===========================================================

PINOY CONTRACTOR ABROAD

Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence.
One from the Philippines , another from Mexico and an American.

They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The American contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. Well,” he says. “I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Mexican contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I can do $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

The Filipino contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: “$2,700.” zte jokes, jun lozada jokes

The official, incredulous, asks, “What? You didn’t even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure? How do you expect me to consider your service with that bid??

“Easy,” the Pinoy explains, ” you see, sir, it’s $1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and then we hire the guy from Mexico “.

The next day, the Pinoy and the Mexican are working on the Fence.

============================================================
What a circus

Monday, March 24, 2008

Ken Lee! ?

Kani makatawa jud mo ani...naa na ni sya improved version pero this video is the forst one and it is funnier.... bisaya siguro ni siya no nga niadto sa Bulgaria....hahahahahha joke joke joke





hahahahahaha Ken lee, ken lee, ken lee bisaya jokes

Ngalan sa Sikat

kahibalo ba mo nga daghan na nga Pinoy ang nisikat kay ilang gibaylo-an ilang pangalan pag-abot nila sa United states...diara ang uban...basi ikaw na musonud... bisaya jokes

Gregorio Talahib - George Bush

Tomas Cruz - Tom Cruise

Macario Maldonado - Mac Donald

Remegio Batungbacal- Remington Steel

Victoria Malihim- Victoria Secret

Bienvenido Jurado - Ben Hur

Juanito Lakarin - Johnny Walker

Federico Hagibis- Federal Express

Esteban Magtaka - Stevie Wonder

Jaime Bondoc - James Bond

Leon Mangubat - Tiger Woods

Eleuterio Ignacio- Electronic Ignition

Burgos Bahag-Hari - Burger King

Kasimiro Bukaykay - Cashmere Bouquet

Maria Calas - Mary Kay

Rogelio Dagdagan - Roger Moore

Topacio Mamaril - Top Gun binisaya

Restituto Pruto - Tutti Frutti

Samuel Tampipi - Sam Sonite

Veneracion De Asis - Venereal Disease

Alfonso De Asis - Alzheimer Disease

Francisco Portero - Frank Porter

Diosdado Durante- Deo Dorant

Roberto Controlado- Bert Control bisayan jokes

Carpio Llanes - Carpool Lanes

Julia Domingo - Holy Sunday

Maria Pascua - Mary Christmas

Ligaya Anonuevo - Happy New Year


hehehehe ikaw unsa imo ngalan? Inenglisi basi musikat ka...

Monday, March 17, 2008

Kinabuhing Pinoy

Naglakaw lakaw ko ug akong namatikdan ang kinabuhi sa mga ordinaryong pinoy...da best jud kaayo.....kinabuhing pinoy dabest jud...lisud pero lingaw ug yunik ra...diay mga litrato nga bisan sa impluwensya sa mga puti buhi pa atong mga tradisyon ug yunik nga kinabuhi...


1. dia bisan sa syudad duna pa kay makit an nga mga bata nga gadula ug damang...spider fight.


2. Dia nanghinguto sa kadalanan..hehehehehehe...ngano man ni uy? Mura manig kinaiya sa mga unggoy kanang makita sa National Geographic.



3. Kani dili jud mawala...and sari-sari store...ang kadaut wala na tira-tira, timbura ug Bobot nga akong paborito.


4. Kani ang lechon sa kadalanan....asus parte na jud ni sa atong kinabuhi..


5. kani pa..sabong o bulang...pintakasi o buwang...

Friday, March 14, 2008

Eighties Kid ba ka?

Perteng daghana ani...20 lang usa karon ha...


1. Kon kaila ka kay Marilyn Villamayor, Caselyn Francisco, Keno ug kang Kenneth Peralta

2. Kon naabtan nimo ang love teams nila Janno Gibbs-Manilyn Reynes(na nag-triangle pagsulod si Keempee de Leon sa eksena), Sheryl Cruz-Romnick Sarmenta and Tina Paner-Cris Villanueva

3. Kon ikaw fan sa Young Love, Sweet Love, Lovingly Yours ug Loveliness na rin.

4. Kon Nag-artista niadto ug sugod si Alvin Patrimonio ug Jerry Codinera

5. Kon gatan-aw ka kay Tito Pepe sa Family Kwarta o Kahon kada Domingo ug gasyagit ka ug “Kahon! Kahon!”

6. Kon ang sikat nga mga child stars kay sila Aiza Seguerra, Lady Lee, RR Herrera ug si Atong Redillas.

7. Kon uso ang get-up nga a la Milli Vanilli nga blazers with matching cycling shorts, very colorful loose polo, mid-thigh socks and black bulldogs.

8. Kon kaila ka sa Milli Vanilli

9. Kon Kabisado nimo ang Electric Youth (song and dance routine pa!)

10. Kon itum pa si Michael Jackson niadto.

11. Kon Uso ang buhok nga kulot kaayo ug taas sa likod (a la El De Barge)

12. Kon ikaw sosyal nga gasakay sa Love Bus.

13. Kon kahibalo ka sa commercial nga gaingon: “All the way down!”

14. Kon naabtan nimo ang commercial sa Coolers nga si Rustom Padilla ang modelo

15. kon kaila ka kay Bondying ug si Wooly Booly

16. Kon Co-host pa ni Dolly Ann Carvajal niadto sa Uncle Bob’s Lucky 7 Club (nganong ganindot ba gyud sa mga toys didto?)

17. Kon kahibalo ka sa kantang nga nagkadayon: “Tatlong bente-singko lang ang aking kailangan…”

18. Kon gatan-aw ka sa “The Big Big Show” ug “Penthouse Live”

19. Kon imong wristwatch ma-transform sa robot ug makon-confiscate sa teacher nimo imong ginadulaan sa klase.

20. Kon duna ka bandana/headband nga ginasuot ni ni Ralph Macchio sa Karate Kid nga ga-armwrestling tungod sa “Over the Top”

Itik, smoke belching and amerikana bisaya jokes

Lalake: Dong, mabaw ning suba?
Bata: Oo nong!
Lalake: (nilukso sa suba) Pisti tabang! Kalalum, ingon ka dong mabaw!
Bata: Mabaw bitaw nong nitabok gani ang itik ganina!

Mag Uyab:

nag-istoryahanay sila ug dugay ug taod taod nihilum silang duha ug niingon si babae.
Girl: nihilom lagi ka, ngano man?
Boy: nihilom lang!
Girl: unsa diay imong gihuna-huna?
Boy: akong gihuna huna? pareho lang sa imong gihuna-huna.
Girl: Aaaaaaaay Bastos...


AMERIKANA

Juan: Bay Pedro, pananglitan kung ikaw ug usa ka amerikana nasaag sa lasang. Unya diha’y mga igorot nga nagukod ninyo. Sa daplin sa sapa, nakakita ka ug sakayan. Pero, usa ra ka pasahero ang masulod aning sakayana.. Unsa ma’y buhaton nimo? bisaya joke

Pedro: Aw, biyaan na lang nakong amerikana, Bay. Bahala na’g unsa kagwapa nang Amerikanaha na. Luwason nako akong kaugalingon. Ikaw, Bay unsa may buhaton nimo?

Juan: Bugo ka man diay, Bay. Akong isul-ob ang amerikana una ko mosakay sa sakayan.



GUWAPO

Photgrapher: Dia ra imong letrato boss. binisaya joke
Customer: Di ko ani uy! Bati kaayo akong nawong aning letratoha.
Photographer: Bati gud. Tan-awa ang imong back view morag si Romy Diaz, ang side view, Paquito Diaz
Customer: Unya ang front view?
Photographer: Aw, Kwarenta Diaz!

EGYPT

Maestra: Miguel, where is Egypt? bisaya jokes
Miguel: Egypt is parked across the street.


Asawa: Hon, bisan taas na imong edad, nakapaanak pa ka.
Bana: Super engine gud ni
Asawa: Ipa check-up na.
Bana: Ngano man?
Asawa: Smoke belching! Itom kaayong bata.


hahahahahaha joke joke joke

Monday, March 10, 2008

Jokes ni Inday

Mga igsuun kung mga bisaya ayaw lang mo masuko aning inday jokes ha...joke joke man lang ni para pang lingaw....

SIR: Inday, si Sir mo ito..bangga kotse ko and i needd cash!
INDAY: Aru!!! dugo-dugo gang ka anoh!
SIR: Gaga! si Sir mo talaga to!
INDAY: Gago! si Sir ang tawag saken CUPCAKE!!!!


Inday: koya, karamehan pala nakalebeng sa simintiryu…. GENAHASA!!!
Kuya: Pano mo nalaman???
Inday: eh kase, nakalagay sa lafeda nela… RIP!!!!

AMO:Inday sagutin mo ang telepono baka kabit yan ng Sir mo!!!
INDAY:Si Ma'am talaga o…..pinapaselos ako!!!


Amo:Inday, magluto ka ng marami mamaya. Dadating ang mga amiga ko.
INDAY : Yes mam! Ano'ng klase ng luto ang gusto n'yo, Yung babalik pa sila uli o hindi na?


AMO: sagutin mo ang telepon inday!
INDAY: (baligtad ang hawak) hilo? hilo?
AMO: baligtarin mo!
INDAY: lohi? lohi?
AMO: ang telepono baligtarin mo
INDAY: nupuliti, nupuliti bisaya jokes, inday jokes, bisaya joke, inday joke


Juan: pwede b u mging txm8?
Inday: oke. ho u?
Juan: ako c ho1.
Day: wg nga u neloloko me. Ho u?
Juan: ako nga c ho1
Day: kkainis n u! WG N U MGTIX HA. TIXBAK!
Sender:
+63906——-


INDAY: Ang gwapo ni sir! Ano kayang gagawin ko para mapansin ako? Hmm. Aha! Alam ko na ilalagay ko sa table itong panty ko!
SIR: Kaninong panty ito?!
INDAY: Akin po iyan sir..
SIR: May tae :|
AMO: telepon ang baligtarin mo!
INDAY: Puntili, puntili


hehehehehehehe Inday!

Sunday, March 2, 2008

On Philippines Issues

hahahaha diara akong mga gihunahuna pahitungod sa atong nasud...I have posted this in my other blog too.

I guess I am entitled to my own opinions as well whether you will violently react or agree with me. It's funny that I was called "bugo" (dumb) by one of my visitors in this blog and my other blog. He reacted on the posting and opinion I had about gangs and the vandalism they do all over Davao. Anyway again these are my opinions. I intend not to offend but just vent what is in my mind.

First, I believe that the voice of Manila people is not the voice of the whole Philippines. We here in Mindanao and all other provinces has not been given a chance to speak our minds. Even the media in some ways do not even give a chance for Pinoys in the provinces to speak what they think about the issues confronting the Philippines these days. The media I think have become so biased in some ways. I come from Saranggni province and I don't agree with all that Manila people are trying to do. I believe to call for the President's resignation now is untimely and unwise. Why? because there is nobody to replace her worthy enough of trust. There is only 2.5 years left for her term. Let her finish it and then let the people speak through the election. I don't think she will do more harm now that all eyes are on her.

Second, the government has done and is doing something in terms of development. Again my basis for this is my hometown Maitum Saranggani Province. Since Marcos time it is only now that we feel that the government is doing something. Why? because the basic services to the "small people" are being implemented in our place. Education, health and others services have reached our place including services for the tribal people. Investments are coming in our province. Soon there will be a port, a hydro electric plant and a coal mining and many more that will greatly improve the lives of people in the area. I don't agree with people who always oppose the government and judge it to have not done anything, while they sit as government officials and enjoy lucrative lifestyle. some of them are int he senate. Some of them are protesting in the streets.

Third, Lozada. I do agree with the call for transparency and seeking truth from government. But the question I always ask is what truth are we looking for? Truth that there is corruption in government? We all know that, in fact we have even daily participated in it. From "under the table deals" we make for speedy processing of our driver's licenses and the money we give to escape a ticket, to the unregistered motor bikes and jeepneys all over the Philippines and the taxes big companies don't pay. I agree with the call, but it is a call for all of us not just officials in government. I believe that we will succeed only when the simple Filipino will learn to throw his trash in the bin not in the street, only when the simple Filipino learns to use the overpass instead of crossing the highway anytime. We succeed only when we abide abide by the law ourselves, And if we call for accountability and truth then Lozada has to be in court and be accountable for the corruption he did. He is forgiven yes but the consequences of his act in the past has affected the nation and we have the law to deal with it. If we allow Lozada to just be forgiven and not be accountable then we will see more star witnesses coming forward and the circus starts again. The street protests are not the places for which people are to be accountable. The law provides the right places for it in our judicial system. And if you say this system is useless then you are saying anarchy is better and street justice is great.

Lozada. Star witness. Whatever, what I now see is a person who just keeps on talking and talking taking advantage of people's emotions. I'm sorry but that is how I see him now. He keeps on talking but has not really presented any concrete evidences to prove anything. Filipinos are fond of "tsismis" (gossips) and that is how I see it now. He has become a gossiper because he lacks the evidence for his claims. And politics and politicians who have their own personal intentions have jumped in and made everything a circus. We have the law and we have to abide in it. People power will be abused if we decide on issues because of people marching on the streets of Manila. What did the other people power movements do? To see Cory and Estrada at the same time in the same place, I think they all have been just used for political reasons. Can't you see it?

Again these are my opinions....no offense meant.....hehehehheh